Everyone has had a bad relationship and everyone has had to deal with a bad breakup, but the worst thing that we can do when entering a new relationship is bring old baggage and hurt into a new relationship thus eventually punishing the new partner for crimes that were committed by the old partner.
1. Controlling Behavior
Do you have to know your partners every move, every second of the day? Do you need to be informed of every decision made by your partner in advance?
There are many reasons why people feel the need to be controlling in a relationship whether it be because of past rejections, past infidelities, insecurities or just the need to be in control but whatever the reason controlling behavior is a sure way to push your partner away fast and cause a flooding of resentment and emotional withdrawal.
No one enjoys being with someone who is overly clingy all the time. If you feel as though you need to be in a relationship in order to fill a void that you are missing within yourself then you probably don't need to be in a relationship. A relationship should not be a means to cure your lonliness and you should not solely rely on your partner to make you feel good about yourself. Learning to take responsibility for your own feelings and needs is important even moreso because relying on your partner to validate you will usually lead to extreme disappointment and further heartache in the future, especially if your partner is not willing to be your crutch.
3. Unwillingness to Identify and Acknowledge Your own Shortcomings
Let's be honest. It is easy to tell everyone else what they are doing wrong in their lives, but it is hard to look in the mirror and do the same for yourself. When we are in relationships, we tend to point out our partners flaws and shortcomings without first recognizing and dealing with our own. It is easy to tell your partner that their anger is becoming a problem within the relationship but fail to acknowledge that anger normally arises after we've just argued with them for an hour about nothing.
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