Sorry to break it to you but single people DO give better advice. It's hard pill to swallow but it makes sense if you think about it.
I see comments on Facebook being made often about single people positioning themselves as relationship gurus and offering words of advice to others. There seems to be a notion that if you are single that somehow disqualifies you from being about to give people advice on dating or relationships. Depending on the source, I would agree but if I want to take an objective stab at this ideology and if I am forced to truly examine this concept and give an honest answer I’d have to say that single people DO give better advice.
Deal with it.
It’s not a coincidence that most (good) counselors and relationship professionals are, in fact, single. Their occupation requires it. They are required to be, first, at service to their clients and in order to do so they have to be able to give 100% of themselves. This can’t be done if they are in the middle of a session with you thinking about the argument they had with their own spouse an hour earlier. How can someone who is so deeply in love with their own situation, give you an honest perspective full of bias? I’m sure it can happen but in my experience a person’s perspective on relationships and love can and will be heavily influenced by their own current situations…
It just so happens that being single and emotionally unattached is when “we” tend to do some of our best, well thought out, emotionless led decision making.
For the same reason people seem to have all the answers to everyone else’s problem but can never apply that advice to their own lives. It is because when you are in a relationship with someone or have emotional connection to a person or thing, your discernment and your third eye are clouded because you are in your feelings. You are no longer thinking with your brain but instead thinking with your heart and leading with your emotions. It’s like the difference of being single and someone shooting. When you were single your first instinct is to run and save yourself but when you are in a relationship your first instinct is to get your significant other to safety first and save yourself second.
Love has always been described as a form of insanity because you find yourself doing things that you probably would normally do by yourself when you are in love with someone. You don’t think straight when you are in love. You become irrational when you are in love. So things that you may have been able to see clearly when you were single you are no longer able to see. Red flags in the warning signs that would normally alert you to run and go the other direction are no longer visible to you. People who are not in relationships give better relationship advice because they are not emotionally grounded or influenced by any particular person so they are able to see past the cloud of infatuation to see what is really there.
Speaking for myself, I can admit and attest to the fact that I can recognize the difference in myself when I am attached versus when I am in a relationship. These differences don’t come in the form of differing behaviors or personalities, but moreso in the area of how I view life. Relationships have a way of changing our viewpoints which is why it is so important for us to select mates that are healthy for us and seek out relationships with individuals that will nourish our growth in a positive way because we are heavily influenced by the individuals that we spend the most time with.
And because love is such a strong emotional that, in most cases, has the ability to overpower and overthrow all other emotions, love becomes dangerous if not deadly.
Looking back on my past personal relationships, I find myself asking what in the world was I thinking at various moments in my life. How could something that I see so clearly now have been so foggy and unclear before. What changes occurred in me, between this time from then to now, that I could attribute this sudden burst of clarity to? To be honest, the only difference between that situation and where I am now is the fact that I am no longer IN that situation, thus able to see clearly the things that I subconsciously ignored to continue my facade of happiness. I could sit here and kick myself for days, weeks, months or years over some of the stupid mistakes I have made while in love but that wouldn’t do me any good. What is done is done.
Being able to look back and acknowledge the things that I missed or intentionally ignored has not only made it possible for me to make better decisions moving forward, but it has afforded me the ability to be able to accurately assess problem situations before they arise. Judging off personal experiences I can see a potential headache coming before it has arrived in completion allowing me the opportunity to get out of harms way. Being able to view a situation from an emotionally detached and objective standpoint would not be possible if I had my head in the clouds.
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