Self- Care | A Word About Insecurity

Self- Care | A Word About Insecurity

Photo by Leighann Renee on Unsplash


Every woman has an insecurity. No woman is completely free of the demon who comes to break confidence, interfere and distort how we view ourselves. Aside from having to learn how to accept our imperfections, we are constantly being reminded of our imperfections and are bombarded every second of the day with soft reminders to add insult to energy. Plastic surgery is at an all time high and I swear it seems as if these doctors are offering two for the price of one deals on fat transfers and waist work. Women around the world are going under the knife by any means necessary to fix themselves. So desperate to be anything other than themselves that they willingly put their health and life on the line for the perfect figure but can you really blame them though?

Let’s be clear, this isn’t meant to bash or shame women out of surgery. I am all for women doing whatever they feel they need to in order to love who they are completely. But there is an elephant in the room that needs to be addressed and immediately. Everyone is so afraid of being called problematic and branded with some shameful label that important conversations are often swept under the rug. When they are discussed they are done so privately. Private discussions help no one. 

I have no insecurities. I’m solid?

Oh, are you my love? Is that why you spend your days scrolling through the pages of instagram models, urban magazines and celebrities constantly comparing yourself and your life to theirs? Is that why you make comments - despite stating it’s a joke - about what you would do if you had so and so’s body? Is that why you haven’t seen what you look like in months because you constantly hide behind a smokey glass mirror?

I’m not mad at you. I understand you because I’ve been there. Hell, there are days when I wake up and I am still there. There are times where I walk past the mirror and just stare. I stare at the scars on my body. I stare at my nose. I stare at my face and take note of every single blemish mentally jotting down all of the products I need to stock up on to make “me” pretty again. And when someone tells me I am pretty just the way that I am I snap, annoyed that they would be so dismissive to my sensitive moment.

Loving ourselves is about learning to be our own individual. Opting to focus on the best we have to offer instead of harping on that which can not be changed or is minor and matters none.  Loving ourselves is about finding a way to consolidate our love for ourselves with our fears, putting them together in a nicely wrapped package and presenting the world with all that we offer. 

A woman who revels in herself in all that she is - good and bad. At her very best and at her worst. She’s the woman you should look out for. 

She can’t be matched.

Owner of Love My Black, LLC + Eighty5OH8 -Award Winning Blogger/Author | Viral Troublemaker | Mother of One | Brand and PR strategist